Alternatively, swap fashion notes with them.

Based on the clothing of Oggy from The Body Farm, a BBC crime drama. Oggy is my new favourite television character- he performs skin contamination tests on himself and continually "forgets" to take his medication. (Wowee! Menswear! There's a rarity on Polyvore.)

Just what it says on the tin.

I have no idea. This is an experiment.

However, I do not merely act to achieve such ends. In this instance, I shall be going back in time to seize the throne from Richard II, an incompetent ruler.
 
If he orders anyone to grab me, their hands shall regret aiming for the shoulders thanks to the cleverly designed "Guards! Arrest her!"-proof jacket.
 
He will then meet a sticky end with the help of an AK-47- and much ammunition, of course- that I shall just happen to have with me. The Appellants will declare such things as "Wowee!" and derive amusement from my ironic t-shirt, and those loyal to the ex-king could find themselves being shot in the face. I would turn the fortunes of the country round and go on to lead the English into many a battle (more than ex-king Richard can say) and win much territory for them.

I would like to be the Queen of Freezing Everyone Else To Death, hence the strange sequinned sort-of-crown.

I'd dress a bit like one of Edward Gorey's characters. And, doubtless, there would be a strange creature, a murder caused by topping bookshelves and ladies in big hats and black veils.

I'M WOODSTOCK, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER, EARL OF BUCKINGHAM, WAVER OF SWORDS AND KILLER OF MANY. I LIKE SHINY THINGS.

Um... Baring my stomach, for it is a nasty-looking thing. One day it might grow eyes. And, to do this, I will wear things reminiscent of the characters of FaceRot (go and look for him on deviantArt).

Time to pretend to be a rockstar and wear shoes that do not look at all easy to walk in. I'm not used to heels. These sort of antics (both the pretending to be a rockstar and the difficult shoes) will reduce Per to howls of laughter.